Celebration of Life

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Becky suggested the kids write letters to Shad to put in the casket when we went to the family viewing that night. Tommy sobbed all through writing his.

"I miss him. He was a great man. He will and always be my dad.

He taught me Magic

He taught me Diablo

He taught me Small World

He taught me Pirate's Cove

He taught me baseball

He taught me Kingdom Builder

He taught me to cook an omlette

We would have so much fun together

From Tommy

To Dad"

We went to the family viewing at Fairmount that night. I went into the viewing room first and alone for a few minutes. No anger, no yelling. Just tears and apologies.

Katie's letter

After that, we retreated back to Mom's house. I think that was the night I cooked Chicken Posole to make a ton of soup for everyone. A bunch of my family had arrived from out of town...my cousins Michael, Scott & Ally, possibly Eric, possibly my uncle Aaron. I can't remember when everyone came. Michael is a very skilled pianist and came prepared for music therapy, playing for close to an hour while everyone else danced or sang. It was very much needed.

Piano Man playing "Piano Man"

Also, these two kids were riding super high on the excitement of their superhero outfit packages that arrived.

And then Sam got really tired.

Lori and I went to the airport at around 11 to pick up our friends who happened to be arriving on the same flight from Salt Lake City. DIA is under major construction and it was hilarious that they just cut straight through the sign.

Midnight and finally had Jamee in my clutches! We hadn't seen each other (or even talked, really) in 9.5 years since my wedding, but she was all prepared to match her face to mine for a picture...only I forgot that used to be my default!

Some of the best people in your life are brief encounters that end up being lifelong loves. Jamee and I were roommates in China for a few weeks until we got split to different schools when teachers needed to be redistributed. We saw each other once before our departure day and that was it. She came to my wedding and now for a funeral...and you know what? We're really good at not talking in between! But we've got this thing that we're there for each other when major stuff happens. (And now she's getting married next month, so it's my turn to go see her!)

Fixed it!

Jamee and I stayed up til 5 am catching up on life and resuming our old cuddle habits from China. And then were up at 8:30. I doubled my black tea due to lack of coffee. Katie painted Jamee's nails and Jamee did Katie's hair.

Cuddles and reading time with Michael.

My Captain America shirt I ordered got delayed and didn't arrive in time for the viewing and celebration, so I ran to Target for an alternative. Little Wonder Woman was happy to tag along!

Okay, just to be clear, you know what's great about funerals/celebrations of life? The reunion. All the people you haven't seen in forever who show up and help that 3.5 hours of sleep and caffeine and stress adrenaline last a little longer by boosting it with excitement and hugs. And that's how you get through it.

Joe Thoming, best back popper and played my piano jukebox game with me in church back in the day. 

Flo, best Grandpa's girlfriend ever!

Writing messages on helium balloons.

Kristen, my cousin Brian's wife, came in from Utah and Uncle Aaron from Wisconsin.

Tim Cummings, awesome game night and frisbee golf friend from Kansas.

Coltyn and Will. I love them!

Dancy's balloon for Dad. She drew Batman.

Katie's fancy hair done by Jamee. Oh, look, Taletha! There you are!

Just a few of the many Captain Americas. My sister Lisa and uncle Aaron.

The Kansas door guard. Just kidding. Shad's brother Jimmy (right) and his friend Amanda and her husband.

Pallbearers decided to wear themed socks. Mismatched on purpose.

Aly, Christiana, and Ryan, Colorado Springs food and game night friends.

Burtt and his family came in from Florida. He took his superhero game seriously and kept it covert.

Work it, brotha!

Paul Brooks, that guy who will visit you in the hospital with cases of IBC to help you get over being dumped and who says he doesn't stay friends with people unless they're in the same state as him, but makes an exception for you when he moves to Utah. And that summer of everything root beer flavored!

Mr. McKinney, the best math teacher ever! I love this man so much. Seriously, Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World right here.

Katie with Ruth and Coltyn.

The service began with the song "Remember Me" from Coco. 

Then my awesome friend, Paul Vanderveer, gave the eulogy. (That was a fun phone call: "Hey, Paul, can you please come out from Oklahoma, just in case you weren't already planning to, and give the eulogy? Like, I really need you to say yes because I can't even think of anyone else to possibly ask to do this. I have no plan B.") We did our best to make sure the eulogy was lighthearted and filled with inappropriate or awkward humor. I mean, it wasn't that hard when I had Shad's phone and just had to copy some of the dad jokes he trolled his coworker with:

“If a large group of people realize something at the same time, does that
make it a mass-occur?”
“What do you call the price a cat has to pay to fly through space? A
cat-astro-fee.”
“Why did the soup get arrested? For running a broth-el.”
“Which shape is most resilient? A triangle because it just keeps trying.”
“If someone evaluates the vibes that other people give off, does that make
them a vibrator?”

This is how Sam and I sat through the celebration of life. And sang along to "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down.

There were some slideshow pictures that played during the songs. After "Kryptonite," we had open mic for memory sharing. After a few minutes, Katie broke the silence by talking about going on dates with her dad. Then other people got up to talk. My only regret is that I didn't get up to remove the guy who hogged the mic for 5 minutes to give his Mormon religious spiel after opening with "So, I didn't know Shad..." Mmk, then this isn't for you.

We ended the service with "Red Balloon" by Charli XCX

Once on a Monday at work, Shad asked a coworker how his weekend was. The guy said it wasn't great, went to a family member's funeral. Shad had a reflex response and asked, "Well, was it successful?"

So when the wheel covering was removed from the casket at the end of the service and the flag started falling off, I chuckled. Then when Coltyn jumped up to fix it and every time his hand left the flag it slipped off again, I died laughing.

And all I could think of was this scene from Game of Thrones:

And then we walked out of the service room.

And were met by my awesome group of relatives with balloons.

The casket was loaded into a hearse, which was really just symbolic and ceremonial because we did a cremation after the celebration, not a burial.

Close family and friends all got a balloon to release.

"If you got troubles let 'em go,

Let 'em soar so high, high into the sky

Just like a red balloon."

Shane Barton, motorcycle rides and glowsticks in his mouth at church dances.

Ashleigh Dudley, aka, Professor Sprout. No really, she works at a Hogwarts summer camp.

You know what's ironic here? The guy in the middle is ACTUALLY named Steven Rogers and won't own up to it.

{Uncle Aaron (Wisconsin), Uncle Tyler (Utah), my cousin Scott (Ohio)}

Truffle Shuffle time

I missed snapping pictures with Jon Maruji, best joke rebound boyfriend ever; Michaela Hayes, elementary school friend who's cursed 9/9/99 birthday will never be forgotten; and Darrell Tyler, 8th grade English teacher, mentor, and dear friend.

At the mid-afternoon luncheon, I tried to corral my kids for a quick picture with the Vanderveers. What I got was a quick Samson runby...

{Samson with his best cousins, Zaki and Drew}

...and a Thora pout...

...and then the rest assembled. Close enough.

Jimmy and ...I forget who this guy was, but nailed it with the hat and boots!

I crashed around 6 pm and took a break to shut myself away for a bit, then came out to play with Vivian to keep her off her napping mom.

Guess what arrived that night! Yup, my Captain America shirt. That's okay, my "I drink and I know things" Tyrion Lannister shirt was an awesome replacement.

Just in time to run out to On the Border with the cousins and siblings and Jamee for a late night dinner and stay up til 11:30.